Jan 15, 2025
I am sometimes accused of being “anti-tech.” This couldn’t be further from the truth (as I write these words in Google Docs on a laptop with my smartphone beside me), but I understand the tendency towards this black/white, either/or thinking. Ironically, the very building blocks of code are indeed binary.
But parenting approaches and educational frameworks involve humans, and humans are full of complexity and nuance.
My response to such accusations is that I am not anti-tech; I am “tech-intentional.” This is a phrase I’ve been using for several years, and, in fact, started the trademarking process back in 2018 (it’s now a federally registered trademark).
So what does tech-intentional really mean, and what does it look like when applied to our daily lives?
Let’s start with the meatier definition I’ve developed:
“Being tech-intentional™ means only using screen-based technology that enhances, nurtures, and supports yourself, your child, or your family in a way that aligns with your values, and resisting, delaying, or limiting screen use that interferes with healthy mental, physical, cognitive, and emotional development.”
The simpler version of this definition can be summarized like this: When it comes to screentime:
Less is more.
Later is better.
Relationships and skills before screens.
What does that look like? Here are a few examples of what I see as “tech-intentional” versus what we may want to avoid (and caveat– these are just a few examples. There are many variations and what works for one family doesn’t necessarily work for all!).
Smartphones, social media, the internet, computers– these are modern day examples of technology, but new eras have always ushered in new technologies– the printing press, the fork, high-speed trains, typewriters. Innovation is a good thing and humans are uniquely built for creativity. There are always hand-wringers and naysayers, of course, but I’d like to think I fall somewhere in the “healthfully skeptical” category of those concerned about new technologies. Can our modern technology make our lives better, easier, more convenient, safer? Yes, of course. But it can do the opposite too. And paradoxically, too much time on social media or scrolling or gaming can mute our curiosity, our critical thinking skills, and our ability to be discerning.
It is not the technology itself that is the problem; it is the way technology can threaten our very humanness (creativity, critical thinking, and problem solving, specifically) that poses a threat to our family life and civic institutions. Unlike previous forms of technology (the fork, for example), in today’s world, we are engaging with curated and specifically built tools designed to manipulate our attention, hijack our focus, and blur fact and fiction, all for someone else’s profit, while at the same time eroding the very skills we would need to defend ourselves from it.
And I have concerns about that, especially when it comes to children and families.
While there are many parts of this process that need attention, the two I focus on most are: family screentime and screen use for and at school. While the challenges may differ slightly, the solution is the same: a tech-intentional approach.
Being tech-intentional doesn’t mean “no tech”; it means technology use that aligns with our values. It means technology that enhances our relationships, not detracts from them. It is prioritizing skills and healthy development before introducing screens. Being tech-intentional means making purposeful choices about our use of technology. Being tech-intentional means using technology, not letting technology use us.
I’ve written extensively about tech-intentional parenting and schools on my blog. Here are a few other essays on this topic that might be of interest: